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Venmo

Up for sale is my legendary junior high / high school mountain bike.

This thing didn’t just ride… it lived a life.

-Took me to friends’ houses -Took me to visit “girlfriends” (results may vary for new owner) -Survived countless tube changes and questionable mechanical decisions -Helped me build character, cardio, and poor judgment

Current condition:

-Tires are flat (adds suspense) -Has been sitting for years (low miles if you ignore emotional mileage) -Probably needs a tune-up, air, and someone with ambition

Specs-ish:

-Full suspension (for maximum comfort during teenage life crises) -Aluminum frame -Still looks cool enough to convince yourself you’ll ride again

Perfect for:

-Fixer-upper project -Casual neighborhood cruiser -Teen looking to repeat history -Someone who says “I just need something cheap”

Bonus: May or may not increase your chances of getting a girlfriend. No guarantees. Worked… occasionally. I don’t ride it anymore, but it still believes in you.