Tired of carrying stuff like a regular human? Wish you could haul bricks, mulch, groceries, emotional baggage, AND your dignity—all at once?

Say hello to this absolute unit of a tricycle.

FEATURES: Industrial-strength frame (stronger than your last relationship) Giant cargo deck (fits everything except your regrets) Three wheels = maximum stability (unlike your New Year’s resolutions) Vintage yellow paint = instant neighborhood legend status

️ PERFECT FOR: Yard work Hauling tools Farmers market domination Looking ridiculously cool for no reason

️ WARNING: May cause neighbors to ask, “Where did you get that??” at least 3 times per week.

PRICE: $400 (No lowballers—I know what I’ve got )

Pickup only in bountiful.